Monday, June 06, 2016

Reclaim Yourself!

How late this is, how bent we are. I wished one could tell people to stop swallowing the lies and manipulations we are being fed. I still want to believe, that people will realize that media produces a much worse picture of the world than it actually is, simply because this is its method to project a certain orientation for how "they" want life to play out, hoping that mankind will catch on to it.
The kids don't really know. They seek orientation. Parents, in their right minds, are meant to provide it to them, but instead they are being sucked away into the ever growing pressure of surviving in a society, designed to take them away from family. Thus parents have to give up their children to organizations, meant to condition the next generation and deprive them of their real powers and confuse these poor souls so that the only way they can find answers is by asking, rather than thinking for themselves. Take away a reality that makes sense and a mind can't find answers within itself.

Are we really here? Are we really in a world where parents abandon their kids into something as harmful as gender confusion? Where is the harm in that you might ask. It's really kind of simple and has nothing to do with confined morals of religions or the likes. This is about sending these kids into a life of looking at themselves and listening to those, who support their uncertainty. It turns such supporters into controllers and the children into mindless, self-absorbed and distracted drones. Instead of finding out what tools they've been given in this life to actually become useful to the world around them in a way that makes them truly happy, they become preoccupied with grooming the delusion with which they were being infused and never find access to their true joy, to knowing that they are being loved for what they really are and to meet true appreciation for what they can really do.

An army of victims is being raised...not by their parents, but by the opaque powers that reveal only the means to their desires through media in all forms, through rules formed and imposed not to govern a healthy mankind in transition to growing greatness, but to misshape a future that justifies consequences that are in service of what ever the hell they believe has to happen.

Over all of this we so easily forget that we ARE the universe. Yes, we have the form of humans, we have the powers given to our manifestation and the ability to perform new and unique wonders as well as the mind to create a paradise of and for life. Only on our way there we will find answers to why we are what we are. They are given to us in our actions. But those actions have to be "true".

Whether you believe in a God or think reason defies such ideas, consider that everything that happens in the universe creates explanations for what caused it to happen, producing a massive chain of logic, which will adhere to its stabilized concept and continues to happen over and over again. This chain grows with every subsequent dimension, which doesn't get "bigger" in terms of physical size, but bigger in terms of complexity. This complexity manifests in the smallest of systems such as a brain in the physical world. It's conceivable that we represent the head of such chain of logic and our actions are meant to explain for why we are what we have become. This puts a pretty big responsibility in our hands. If we fail to make sense of our chain of logic, it cannot become a stabilized concept. But stability does not mean stagnation or holding on to rigid traditions of sorts. We have to consider the nature of our concept. It is our nature to innovate, to create, to change, to adapt, to reason, to combine lower and higher nature to receive power in the form of love, empathy and joy for our desires to act to the best of our abilities and ever growing understanding. We are meant to explore, we are meant to optimize life, not to ignore it, defy it or even destroy it. We are meant to discover nature in and around us to work symbiotically and intelligently not for a goal we would need to know, but for taking ourselves and our children ever closer to what it is we may be able to fulfill eventually. And it will not be a revival of old concepts or the maintenance of ancient hierarchies. Our power will not reflect greatness in the form of dominance over our own suppressed civilization, nor will that represent stability to the chain of logic in our trail. It would break it. But why would we allow that, if we knew better? And I do firmly believe we do know better.

Sunday, July 27, 2014

The Right Thing

You won't know what "the right thing" is for anybody else unless you let them show you.
You can't ever tell anyone what "the right thing" is for them except to let them show it to you.
You only ever can offer what you have to offer so that people can use it to discover what "the right thing" might be for them.

Everything has consequences, but if you define consequences yourself, you best be clear about your motives. If your motive is defined by the agenda of others, you must be clear about their motives. We have a lot of cleaning up to do in order to shake off the chains of contrived needs. As long as we keep things from each other for the sake of satisfying irrational desires, driven by blindness to the whole, our motives will never be clean nor clear, not even to ourselves. Even the genuine desire to be universally useful in the best way we can is often informed by ideas whose origin we are unaware of. In an ideal world we could just trust the authorities, but this is not an ideal world, even when Zen teaches us that the present state- or each moment- of the universe is perfect.

The word "Perfect" says nothing else than "Finished" or "Completed". Once any moment has manifested, this moment is completed and therefore "perfect" by definition. But that also indicates that each coming moment still asks for completion and our decisions now lead to the perfection of each next moment.

How, then, do we know what "The Right Thing" is?

If it was a puzzle, we'd first have to open the box. Once it is open, we have to see the pieces. Only when we recognize a piece we can lay it down and see where it fits. Some of them we can instantly recognize as fitting. Sometimes we feel like it might fit and try it out. But we can never move on, trying to push pieces together that don't clearly fit.
To do the right thing you have to be in a situation that is clear to you or follow your feeling that could lead to clarity. But you cannot move forward, if you force yourself into a situation that is fundamentally wrong and hope to ever enable yourself to the right thing in it.
"Free Will" is our power to find clarity and function outside of contrivance and without contrition. Label it a liability and you lose your humanity and your human potential. But "Free Will" can never lead to harm against anyone for then it is skewed by motives you have to detect and eradicate first. You only exist for the sake of all as you are but a part of all. Those of us, who are born as parasites won't ever know it and cannot feel remorse, but most of us are being pulled into just such a state, asked to act like parasites, even if we're far from that often not at all aware of it. If you find yourself depressed, unhappy and in a state of procrastination, you have not yet discovered where your free will is meant to take you, because you are meant to be useful to others in a way that brings joy to you. Now the big trouble we're having is that the pieces of humanities puzzle are quite dirty by now and it's hard to weed through the mud and find where you could fit. It takes a lot of probing sometimes, but you can be absolutely sure that there is such a piece and you will find a way to do "The Right Thing". Remember to become clear about your motives and to investigate the motives and agendas of those you chose to support! We have a lot to clean up about our own act, that's another certainty. Whether you're an employee, employer or a freelancer, only in the pursuit of clarity will you truly allow your Free Will to lead you towards ideal perfection.

Brainstorm

Here's a little brainstorming on universal "becoming" again.

To set up this train of thoughts; there are two fundamental components to existence we commonly differentiate: matter and energy.
Matter appears to be the purpose to which energy contributes from our common perspective. We consider ourselves rather matter than energy. We identify ourselves with our body more often than with our mind, really. From our perspective there is a necessity of being matter in order to be ourselves.

However, both energy and matter are merely manifestations we recognize of the universal process, what ever it may be. Matter finds order to produce- or rather- transform energy into certain patterns, which are then directed in various ways to facilitate the creation or maintenance of matter itself. This procedure leads to ever more complex patterns for both matter and energy alike.

In our state of being we are convinced that the universe is essentially a container within which localities represent purpose and separate processes. These appear to pursue different and even seemingly unrelated tasks. Marooned on a planet somewhere in space we find ourselves, wondering about other beings somewhere else in the universe. Arguably that, too, has to be by design. But what I'm pondering about right now is a different idea altogether: Patterns.

Everything we can identify is a pattern, held in one way or another. Anything that would not be a pattern does not exist to us. But even the invisible that has any meaning to us comes in form of a pattern. A thought, however complex or chaotic, represents the manifestation of a pattern.

What if the universal process is essentially the formation of a certain pattern. Again this eludes to the classic: Order out of Chaos.
What if the energy pulsing about in our brains represents the building of patterns of energy.
Once we would find enough coherence collectively, we would enable ourselves to transform matter in such a way that it could lead to the next higher complexity of energy transformation the universe desires for its "becoming".
It's not too far a stretch, when I think about this, that the localities of matter in the universe are of no concern to the "final outcome", if that's a way to call it. If there was any truth to this, that everything is really just the motion of one agent, what ever that is, then all the cosmic pirouettes are part of dance that can have its climax in just one spot on the universal stage. All the macro patterns can find their perfect purpose in a completion of a micro pattern.

It's perfectly find, if you giggle about my potential insanity. I'm giggling a little myself, especially in anticipation of later revelations that shed light on my folly as of now, haha. But here's what I'm currently becoming aware of, however silly this may sound or be:

We are the universe. Everyone of us, so I believe, should recognize that he/she is the universe in form of who ever you are. Each one of us is a manifestation, desired and required by the whole of it. We are dumb and- at the same time- the greatest hope of existence, to lead the entire process to the next stage.
We have to tame our animal mind to overcome its lower-level imperative and recognize the higher power we truly are already. But taming does not mean shedding. Everything that ever was is build on and consists of everything that ever was. You can't take that away and hope to have anything left that could be new.
Thus, we have to work with our instincts, but not let them dominate us. Lead the way with what is superior to the basic needs, but furnish those basic needs, nourish them and value them. But it really is important to rise above them with your leading powers.

All these thoughts are not easy to have or hold. I'm having a hard time trying to express the full extend of them. But sometimes it's most important to hold on to the triggers of such thoughts, finding direction rather then waiting to know a destination.

We are very lost in foolish materialism, letting the fear of organizing factions of humanity pull us into our animal instincts to remain controllable rather than to find the higher use of our collective powers. As long as we are kept in fear about not being able to feed our lower-level "animal" needs, so to say, our focus is being pulled into them and away from our higher capacities. This way we are easier to control, certainly, but also we are held back from collectively rising up to our true universal function, hidden in our power to form the next dimension of energy patterns, which should then give rise to what ever pattern of matter is necessary to form the next dimension of the universe...or...ourselves for that matter.

It's a tough spot to be in, being a human being. You know that your body is not a sculpture, right? Matter constantly transforms in and out of being "you". But we disregard that completely and think we have to hold on to matter. Yet it never sticks and we'd be dead if it was. What we really hold on to is a method, a structure or set of instructions that keeps pushing elements into certain places and sorts them to function collectively in a certain way. Once an element has been used, it's being discarded. And that happens at every fraction of a second of each minute and so on... we're never the same in terms of what we "possess" in form of matter. But our mind has just about evolved to begin to come to terms with that. Many of us would still shake their head about it and find some excuse for why they wouldn't respect this thought as meaningful.

But it is not going to be some accidental recombination of DNA segments that will lead to the next evolution. Each step of evolution has been conscious to the given possibilities and circumstances and progressed from the cusp of the respectively highest states. That means that we now have to use our fully conscious powers to really introduce the next level of evolution. And we have to realize that we are not lost or left behind. We are the universe, we transform, we are each level and just now we become "more" conscious about ourselves. That's all. We are equipped to lose our fear and instead embrace our real power to connect "free will" the way it's been enabled to. Only when we can set our mind free, we can let go of fears that hold us back, but not just each individual itself. We hold each other back as we view each other as opponent, challenge or handicap, or object to use and so on... all the beastly thinking that confines us, hurts us, numbs us.

The tough spot we're in is that we've got nobody else to turn to for answers, just as we've managed to evolve questions. Who's God then, when we ask religion, but religion has tried to tell us long before we've lost all understanding of it thousands of years ago. God is everything altogether. In that sense we are the mind of God, the Ego in distress, as a clear thought can only come from all of us together. It's not a separate entity with desires about which we are not informed. As soon as we have understood how to function as a whole, we will find and meet God face to face, haha, looking at each other! :o)

As always, I could go on and on and I can't help but wonder, if anyone actually reads all this, thinks about it with me and maybe helps to let us find a direction and an approach to make it happen, make us truly link up and stop losing to a prior evolutionary state of ours.

Know thyself! Boy, oh, boy, that is a hint that goes straight to the source, long past our silly interpretations of it.

Love and Light 

Friday, January 25, 2013

Daily Sketch No.41 - breaking the spell...


Breaking the Spell 

It seems we only ever start to break free, I feel, bound by spells of convention which reach so deep into our being that it takes miraculous moments to make us sense those tiny, vicious tendrils, piercing our wish, poisoning our will. Hidden in plain sight they tell us what to believe, what to accept and what to dismiss. They are the foreign judges, ruling the extend of our liberty and they masquerade as ourselves. But they are not. Masters of manipulation they use our powers to distinguish between reason and folly and have us apply those against our own imagination. But there is no place for such distinction.

Inside of you is total freedom, truth untouched by doubt, not judged for viability, not ruled by any guidelines. Inside of you is the channel that tunes into infinity, home of us all, place of our birth, filled with images we can only begin to see, when we permit ourselves to fail the words we've learned, the values that were imposed on us, the measurements of what we've been taught was true.

Let go! Let yourself "lie", if that's how you thought your visions would be judged! Let "silly" ideas flourish, bloom, dance through your visions! Surrender to your inner, central eye!

I believe, it may take a long time before those images become sharper, more focused, before this sight expands to the rim of our own body's field and eventually beyond it. But with plenty of training, practicing to see in total darkness, light will come, will get brighter and eventually we may see a part of everlasting truth that is always with us and tickles the senses we will regain.
Love and Light to all of us!

Sunday, June 24, 2012

Daily Sketch No.33



Limits

Without Limits there would be no form. A Beginning and an End are limits in themselves. Where they meet a cycle ends and begins. On each limit an inside ends and begins. But as with time such it is with space, where the limit only separates to distinguish a becoming from a having-been and not the "What" that permeates it all. This "What" is defined yet by its own limits, which cease to be for the "What" that permeates it beyond. As each cell within us has its limits, we permeate it and define ourselves beyond them. So our body has its limit to the outside, with which it is defined, but our purpose permeates it. The purpose of this body has its limits since it had a beginning and will have an end, but our Soul permeates it. Our Souls have a limit to define each of us as individual, but its purpose permeates it. Carry on to meet the face of God, which still would bring you up yet another limit and only the infinite permeates it. And thus it does.

What about breaking the Limits? What about acknowledging the Limits? What about recognizing them?

Is it the will of a cell that gives it its walls? Is it our will that gives us the limit of our skin? Is it our Souls will that distinguishes us from each other? Is it the will of the supernal Soul that splits it from the Infinite?

Who gives those limits and are they a blessing?

The great burden that was placed upon us was that we were given the power to impose limits, to make definitions and thereby to create form. While the Infinite has created everything out of nothingness by means of separating elements through limits, we organize ourselves together by means of limits. Done with the right intentions has us as a whole permeate our own limits. But if those limits push us apart or block the whole of us to link through those limits, then we corrupt this power vested in us. Equally, if we disregard the proper limits, we lose form. The key, I believe, is to embrace limitations, if we can permit ourselves to recognize the form they bring forth. Then we shall experience that it is love, which permeates those limits to bind us all together and directs the motion of this form, guiding us from our beginning to our end and permits God to permeate it all.

Daily Sketch No.32


Creation out of Nothing. Creation out of Everything. Those are the two major vertical polarities of existence. In a hubris worthy of apology I might phrase it like this: God created us so that we create God. Maybe a little more humble in nature:Where there was Nothingness, Everything became to turn Everything into the bridge to Nothingness again.
But that's not the point of today's sketch. This is about the role and nature of consciousness. It is the evolution of a thought, which still has to keep growing to confirm its own validity, but it's ripe to be shared, if only to inspire contradiction, diversification, acceptance or simply dismissal by all of us.
I come to believe that consciousness is purely aware with its key potential to widen that awareness and come to ever greater clarity about the roles of stages higher and lower as well as itself.
Consciousness is not creative, but aids creativity.
Consciousness is not analytical, but guides analysis.
Consciousness is not emotional, but regulates emotion.
Consciousness does not decide, but informs decision.
Consciousness has no action, but seeks correction through it, or stands to be judged for them.
It is the bridge, the heart, the core of what receives formation, wired to the supernal origin, wired to the dense realm of matter, but born blind, numb, deaf and mute, waiting to receive its lessons on Earth and its grades from Heaven.
What we are here is the only way in which consciousness evolves. Nowhere else can it change, receive new experiences and receive the devices to understand its own purpose. Like an infant it drops out of the womb of God, and like any being it has to learn to see, learn to walk, learn to speak and learn to understand. It does so, however, not within one life, but over the course of great many lifetimes in the material sphere.
Consciousness is the Soul, like human are you. Die now as a human and you will be born with the same degree of awareness only to suffer again until you can continue to evolve "consciously". Live as long as possible and with proper readiness to learn, so that you be granted a continuation based on your degree of awareness rather than a correction for your failings. All the teachings that sound like blind devotion are probably mostly misunderstood, because they are supposed to humble us in order to accept our duties with some clarity about what they really are for. Nothing is for ourselves, we do not exist for our sake, but we're given the grace of love and joy, desire and passion in sustainable form, letting us know that the right thing is a good thing. Mistakes are there to help us understand, not to cull us from the process by some harsh judgement. We are, if you will, product of a requisition, written in the method of God for the process of Existence. Therefore none of us will ever have to fear being destroyed as individual consciousness, but should embrace the choice to avoid the pain of stagnation that comes, if we roll through life blindly, selfishly and ignorant to others and thereby to the whole. The fruit of our labor is not relevant to God directly, but relevant to our function, which is relevant to God. We are aware of our labor, but often unaware of our function, because this we do not have to be. It might help us to understand more of this, but it is not a requirement, because we are created with the intrinsic power to function. Only our infantile confusion about the rewarding sense of joy and corrupting power of desire can have us ignore or even fight this power to function. But this I will leave to other sketches, those from before and those to come.

Brief Sketch on Soul and Bible

After I had realized the nature of soul and body, the true individual Self and its instrument, it became a deep part of my consciousness increasingly so day by day. Another part of my revelations included the understanding that it is our love and associated desires to the physical plane of existence that keeps us alive, but as the doctrine goes "as above so below" it is equally the love to our origin, our Creator, who or what is also our collective destiny, that sustains or maintains our sense of direction in life and a potential understanding of divine gratitude and appreciation.
So when I ran into this classic bible line again that goes, "Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind'; and, 'Love your neighbor as yourself.'", I was somewhat baffled as to how well it made the distinction between, Soul, means of soul's communication with the physical incarnation (through the heart),  the physical instrument's body (your strength) and the physical instruments cognitive device (the mind) and the very important understanding that you can only truly love God, if you love all incarnations or members of life as the same, love your neighbor as yourself! Whether linguistically correct or splitting hairs, the "...as yourself" could be considered on a deeper level even more severe, realizing that you and your neighbor, meaning all of life, IS yourself. It also suggests rightfully that you cannot love yourself without loving your neighbor and- with any degree of awareness- this will also make you understand to love the Infinite, God, or which ever way your care to address the Most High causality of existence, everything in between and beyond.

I'm always a little sad that somehow non of the ancient deliveries cared to visualize those concepts explicitly, but simply assumed that you'll never understand the concept in its raw form and should at least act appropriately by being asked to, however coarsely. It isn't that everybody should be able to understand it in some scientific form, but that explanation should be easily available for those who cared.
Arguably, Qabalah is what provides access, if you happen to find to it, which was largely next to impossible for over 1000 years. Also, this may just apply to the "Christian" world, or Judeo-Christian world for that matter. Vedanta provides its own kind of access to what appears to be somehow almost scientific in some sense and does make it more explicit, regarding what we/you are in relation to the higher realms.
I found access because my soul literally dragged me into it over all these years and even decades for that matter. It's been pulling me and pushing me and juggled between prioritizing duties only to maintain a course that it wouldn't reveal to me fully until just a few years ago... or rather began to reveal. Now I just have to figure out what the true weight of my attention favors, awareness for myself to pursue a purpose known to me already or the sharing the path to the awareness as purpose itself. Why not all of it?

Anyway, there you have it... the Bible is "GEM"-packed with wisdom that tends to hide behind confusing and even objectionable story lines, images and dogmatic components. While in reality it really struggles to deliver to you a divine Truth not only undeniable, but fundamentally helpful.

Daily Sketch No.31




Unity of Heart and Mind

Once you begin to understand that body and mind are instruments to the soul, you begin to see that the unity of soul and mind does not refer to equal strength in decision making, but to accept the roles each have to play and- as a result- function thereby with confidence. The mind is not supposed to make any decisions. It is meant to receive and interpret reality to the soul and in return understand the direction of the soul and express it through proper interpretation of it. The mind is the first instrument, which in turn uses the body as instrument and even there it goes both ways, since the body utilizes the mind to do actions on its behalf.
The stream therefore goes something like this: soul<>mind<>body
Unity between all of those elements means that each accepts its role and does not claim false dominance. The soul has to accept that its first duty is to function in the physical world, which turns the soul into the instrument of God, or how ever you prefer to recognize the purpose giver, creator, ultimate receiver, eternal entity. I'm somehow sensing that I skip a few forces in between, but for now this should be enough.
That might add this portion to the stream of human existence: Infinite<>Soul<>mind<>body

Anyway, the core issue is that the ultimate unity turns the mind into an alert listening device that cares consciously to read the soul's command. We like to call the soul the heart, but the heart is merely the only way we distinctly sense the instruction of the soul. It makes, however, an excellent indicator for the origin of our inner direction. But it's important to recognize that the heart reflects a greater range of emotions, which may have their origin elsewhere at times.

Reason is important not to come to conclusions, but to properly interpret the physical reality so that it can be understood by us. Actions driven through reason only become truly useful, once we recognize the origin of the actions as being of the soul. Equally reason is meant to formulate the action requested by the soul.

Some people tend to favor their mind and skip their heart. Others even favor the body and skip both mind and soul. Only full unity can provide truly satisfying action and through this the real lesson for the soul to continue evolving. I believe that excuses are devices not just from one person to another, but very much internally a way of justifying a failure to reach unity.
Release yourself from former mistakes! Forgive without excuses! Embrace full unity of your faculties; body, mind and Soul! Know that all of these components make "You", not just the soul, just the mind or just the body. Without any of these components it is not you, but a part of you. To become the real and full you, you must strive for this unity!
It does not save you from making mistakes or does not turn you into a saint. It simply gives you the means to fully function to the best of your abilities and will give you confidence to be dutiful in your will.

Daily Sketch No.30

One of those trips...

Why is it a train of thoughts, when sometimes just one thought is its only passenger. Solitary, as some moments leave us, dreaming in a chair, falling into a single hand and walking through the warmth of being by yourself... and away. And as the world recedes again around us, it feels as though angels stand beside, making sure we know, pretending nothing but holding silence. And into the tearless cry of quietude slithers a tiny smile. A gift from a place not much higher than our own, but then above it all. It's where our home is at. Where we come from. Where we return to. Where we wait. From where we're called to go grow and given a mind, a body and a world to do so. Time after time. Here we are different. Here we are given time. Here we're given a chance to have all that and a chair to sit in. A moment to dream. A ticket for the train. And every time we send a thought onto the journey the train gets fuller.

Daily Sketch No.29



 

Yes, yes, I know, this may seem a bit provocative at first glance, but bear with me for a moment, please!
I believe the world would spontaneously improve dramatically, once people began to realize that all religious scripture is meant to educate, to teach with wisdom an understanding about our origin, our way of functioning along with social purposes and our common divine purpose. Except for the authors of these doctrines, nothing within them is or has the need to be historical. Once upon a time people may have had little difficulty to communicate through metaphors and allegories, would probably talk about their morning by anthropomorphizing the grass, the sun and their breakfast cereals. But at some point this overt power of language became occult and words themselves became content more than their contextual meaning. And through it people had lost the teaching component and substituted it with laws to submit to by following literal instruction as opposed to comprehending their ideas.
And when the Jews fell deeper and deeper into such misunderstanding and nowhere was something to be found that could clarify the nature of scripture, Jesus was made up to be far more explicitly transcendental and spiritual in language. Yet, even that wasn't enough, since soon that, too, wasn't explicit enough and the meanings drifted, even fell fairly straight into the occult.
And when the world woke up for a brief second during the renaissance, they only figured out that the church was full of it and started to turn their back on the whole thing. Scripture became silly fairy tales of some arbitrarily oppressive nature and science was the only relevant truth seeking to seriously consider. And off went the baby with the bathwater- or what ever that expression was.
But, due to the infinite wisdom of existence, groups somehow maintained this then occult information in every major religion and slowly but surly it began to surface again until we find ourselves today, overwhelmed by revelations about the brilliance of ancient scripture, whether exposed to it and understood or by the translations through modern esoterica and the likes. But that which each religion had turned into its dogma somehow still is a tabu of some kind. If you bounce around and reveal that Jesus never was a living person, Moses a delivery method and Abraham a concept, you best wear good protection. Yet, when it comes to Adam and Eve, the picture it represents is probably the closest to historical relevance, even if the dates are obscure and pulled into great nonsense by pretty much all organized religions. They represent not just a prototype of human form, but they represent the only whole that we all are parts of. It's about as metaphysically historical as it gets, I'd assume, but people probably have an easier time to understand that than all other corrections.
Trust me, I'm biting my lips the whole way through, knowing of my arrogance to just write all this with such confidence, but whether it is true or not, it should emphasize the educational power, relevance and truth that one can expect to find in ancient scripture of all religions, once examined for its symbolic transmissions. This does benefit greatly from having a key, an anchor from which to observe the presented images and processes explained in scripture. I believe that one of the most brilliant aids one can find is the Kaballah's tree of life. Each point, each Sephirah, represents a step in the process of existence and is derived from the combined knowledge of ancient understanding. The organization of the tree alone creates a symbolism that helps to find all major religious symbols and assign meaning to them that maintains consistency with the information presented in the texts. I'm still in the process of studying the Sephirod, combined with the Hebrew alphabet and hopefully at some point the language, too, in hopes to encounter more of the wisdom that led to the concept of the tree of life.
But that, too, only reveals some aspects, even if probably most or all are truly relevant to our present state. My own key is a bit different and somehow even simpler, due to the fact that it is based on our present way of thinking, observing through something closer related to a scientific contemplation and observation. However, most important about it was that it gave me a key to the levels of existence that are discussed in scripture. And through it I began to embrace realms within and beyond our own. I embrace feeling them, carefully opening myself to observe and see, if I can see and then what. I hope to let this light come in and shine onto our daily issues, recognizing more and more the nature of our material world and its processes. And I can tell you that it already illuminates aspects that I'm deeply grateful about seeing now.
Chiefly amongst them is the simple fact that our material realm overwhelms us, swallows our senses and demands great attention. To transcend those things virtuously, meaning not to abandon our portion of reality while experiencing even more profound elements of existence that are not immediately revealed into our consciousness, requires some great strength thus far, or rather as far as I can tell thus far. I also must conclude that there is a reason for it and it should not be dismissed. Our actual, functional or active purpose lies within this realm and not in any other, even if the result of it all is intended and will fulfill its purpose for the highest of realms.

The First Morning Alive...

Ok, ok, the esoteric component of this is, ehm...well...deeply profound. I'm sending a prayer and my love into their lives along with this little bit of memory. I helped them into this world and to their own little song, but other than that I'm ashamed I couldn't keep them with me. At least they are alive and well and will learn the rules of the street from mommy.

When does something become responsibility and how much wisdom is in fighting against the rules and rage of a furious landlord couple. I surrender to the will of local wisdom, even if it still escapes me somewhat. At least they cared enough to help me find them a place right away with a good neighbor. But I still feel underwhelmed by my inability to protect them all the way. Great encouragement to buy a home soon! Then I shall learn where the local wisdom comes from, hahaha. Oh dear...

Daily Sketch No.28

Well, today I'm making my first musical daily sketch. It's been a long time since I've made music with natural instruments, playing them in live on my keyboard and not just "painting" the sequences as I've done for years now. I'm still a bit rusty, but it's such a tremendous fun for me, I'm just happy right now. I hope you don't mind me bumping it straight into my daily philosophy sketches, but that's really where this belongs in my mind/heart/soul. Like a public journal of my journey I include this clumsy climb back onto the saddle of less geeky doodling, even while it's a bit out of control, still. In some ways it illustrates a lot of how I feel right now, floating a all this wealth of fields to study, observations, sensations, dreams and contemplations about the source, the unfolding, the manifesting, the realizing and the layers of speculations made by mind, by letting go and reconnecting to what was, what is and what will be.
When we look at free will, we assume that it is our permission to deviate from the great plan, but since it is part of the plan, it cannot really deviate. Instead it is the great plan experiencing itself and turning itself into the platform of correction and rejuvenation. Everyone of us represents the Will of God, in that regard, but our minds control the intensity of it coming through and may block its power due to memories of experiences that were not our own (the theories we're being taught, the images we see, the things we read). I would make that proposal that once we let go of purely foreign ideas and fallback through all the real experiences we've had into the sphere of our soul, away from our mind, we might find our genuine instructions and directions from the supernal source of our existence.
Why talk about all this?
Well, I'd imagine that I'm not the only one, who wonders every now and then, why such massive majority seems to think or accept things so very different from what we think, or how it could be reasonable to assume that one person could have a suggestion that deviates from the course of humanity at this time. I think that if certain feelings, recognitions and ideas are carefully carried through examinations for their validity, sincere altruism and diligent study, what ever becomes of them will be a genuine representation of God's Will, while it will only then truly gain hold and execution, once this is being recognized and adopted by an ever increasing group of people or rather peoples. Therefore the judgement is not yours to make, yours is the contemplation and all the due diligence.
There's naturally far more to this topic, but that's also what the comment section is for.... :o)

Daily Sketch No.27


On Religion

Religion, even if this sounds quite simple and obvious, is the attempt to connect the instrumental mind with the superior mind, or divine mind, the true Self. As we are being tossed into the water, our survival instincts allow us to learn swimming, but something has to give us direction, not only to swim back to safety, but even to use our ability to swim and dive for purposes beyond survival. Religion, however, provides direction to the shore and gives us a map of the ocean and the land. It also tries to explain to us that we are given all the choices to operate based on the best of our abilities within this world, but offers itself as source of orientation, should we somehow get lost on the open sea or even, if we're afraid to go into the water again.
Scripture, even if it is challenging to make sense of its allegory and symbolism, is offered as a key to open this sometimes seemingly closed door between our material reasoning faculties and the source of righteousness beyond them. With every attempt we make to understand the messages of ancient lecture, we gradually open this door wider and wider. Beyond ourselves is the very real concept of existence, the Self that is closest to the real meaning of all finality and it teaches us that there is no "us", but only One device, one entity that spread out and shuffles itself to reorganize the fragments of the divine structure into what shall become the new bridge within the Infinite. None of us is not part of all of us and our duty is to refine the perpetuation of this procedure with ever more satisfactorily qualities.
While seemingly all our time on Earth appears as the highest priority, its purpose can be corrupted by confusing it with being the only priority. It is, though, nothing but the means to an end from which our instrumental mind may not draw any conclusion of or about which it simply doesn't need to know anything of. But to realize this can help to put things back into perspective, to learn that the importance within life is not found within life, but outside of it, beyond it, transcending what our five senses offer us as definition. We are given great powers to operate within this life and- much as itself- it is all a matter of choice and dedication.
So, once the key is turned and the door begins to open, you may begin to appreciate the privilege and powers that are given to you, and you need to find and believe in the path you can pursue, the direction that comes to you naturally and rely on its merit, as it is not for the one body that is carried by the fragment of the universal soul that you represent as a human, but it is for the merit of all life, all fragments, humanity, the kingdom of life, the whole finite universe and eventually the Infinite itself.

Saturday, April 07, 2012

Daily Sketch No.26


A Moment Inside a Lucid Dream

As if I had turned into a thin membrane around a million bodies, floating in the waters of life. Substance without substance, nothing but image, nothing but an illusion that is meant for something, but meaningless by itself. This feeling of being damned, if we knew what we were. And I saw myself, floating in the center. I don't know whether I was laughing or screaming, but my body looked at me, living, but scared or sad or in some kind of despair. It was a little bit as if I was asked to know all this, but should not spend more time in this vision. And then, more and more, I felt that this membrane that I was, it was all of us, and that something must constantly convince us to accept those bodies. "Don't see this! Don't linger! For if you do, you surely will not have these lives". I've felt this being told to me without words, just given as a warning from somewhere around it all, besides us. Maybe it was angelic, I don't know, but it was not the Highest, the Creator directly. And this vision was stopped and a sexual moment replaced it, a moment of desire, almost like someone changed the channel real quick to something that rooted in our material realm so strongly, that it would be enjoyable, desirable to let go of the universal experience, but maintain the lucidity to make it all the more exciting. I can't exactly complain, really, haha.

Anyway, I'm sure I'm not the first to think or realize this, but I believe the world is getting coerced into being more complicated in its physical on-goings so that it becomes even harder for us to rise outside of this limiting state of being "alive" in this material realm. It becomes ever so much more ridiculous, because something big is about to hit, a tremendous revelation. And it is unclear, whether it will cease this world altogether, have us let go and ascend in some regards, or whether it will destroy all control and a horrifying form of anarchy will break lose, because too many powerful people cannot handle the sudden understanding of what we are. I think, in this form, the human form, we are asked to accept our time and fulfill our assignment, even if its divine formulation is suffocated in our declining belief, suppressed to prevent us from our increasing potential to reach such clarity to receive the full truth that dissolves the universe completely.

When I think about all this, I again find myself asking to be told what's beyond all this, what our true mission is really for, I mean the final result of the finite universe. I humbly submit to the Infinite out of my free will, not out of fear or arrogance or any purpose other than the wish to unite and offer all my faculties to participate consciously. But I think, in some regards this had been Adam's fault. Hmmmm.... I'd so want to bite into that apple for that very reason, but it's not what's been asked of us. Damn it. We are asked nothing that we don't or couldn't already know. But the confusion that comes with today's contrived entanglement makes it increasingly harder for us to tell what we're supposed to do inside this world. Are we really meant to kill each other, use each other, despise each other, despise ourselves, gorge, masturbate, defile, disrespect, poison, envy, ignore, surrender to the worst of ours?

All the things that give us pleasure, our ability to experience physical pleasure, they are literally meant to corrupt us, not necessarily in a negative way, but to make us want to stay on earth, in life. There's a balance that has to be kept, so that it doesn't lead to our self-destruction, but this balance is very fragile. I think there's a group out there that knows all this all too well. I can't ask our Creator, or even an angel for that matter, but I'd love to be able to ask those of us, who know, and if it was conceivable to you, I'd want to be of service. At least I think so every now and then, because I still don't know which way the wisdom leads us.

Daily Sketch No.25


A fun little meditational exercise: Standing or hovering above this pedestal is an object of your imagination. Keep this object there for a while. Form it, observe it, even consider touching it.

Is it just a form, is it made of stone or wood, ice or pudding, grew that way, crystalized, or is it even alive?

Hold it for a few minutes, if you can. Just even looking at it comfortably should already do the trick.

Eventually you can lift it off the pedestal and take it with you, just look at it where ever you are and do that everyday for a few minutes. It may even evolve, change, melt, erode or not, but in its essence it stays what or who it is through it all.

After you've done this for a while consistently, we can continue to the next level together.

I just realized that I've been doing this for almost three decades now without ever realizing it. It just suddenly dawned on me that I made this very exercise a pivotal aspect of my profession. But I never consciously associated it with a spiritual path of exploration, all the while that is the very thing that kept brewing in the back of my mind until it so powerfully erupted out of me in the last few years.

Anyway, I hope you will find this exercise inspiring and consider joining this little game. Some of you may have done this already or know this from elsewhere, because it is a training method for concentration and a preparation for deep meditation. A skill of the mind that benefits from exercise just as the body from a good workout. I figured this little pedestal is a neat little anchor to get started.

Monday, April 02, 2012

Daily Sketch No.23

Our world/Their world (?!)

Who is anyone to tell somebody else what clouds are meant to look like, trees , mountains or the whole of existence. Who's everyone, daring to oppose it and seemingly denying that, which threatens the condition he had managed to accept.

I often wondered, if it is not all of us, who have some profound revelations at around age 14-17, which put all the offered views of the world into question and when we somehow sense that there's another component we don't easily hear about. But then school kicks into high gear and our focus is forced away from all that, pushed into submitting to the offered paradigms, getting disciplined and conditioned to be integrated into this society. And kids become people, convinced that their sacrifice has to amount to something, so they keep biting through this offered cake of life, often more the fruitcake variety, and rejoice for what ever raisin or chocolate chip they come across, hoping to find more as they dig deeper into it.

Now you come along, you somehow had the frame of mind to chew your way upward or outward to the crust of the cake and popped your head out to realize that there's a giant menu of stuff all around you and that the actual dinner is far more nutritious and tasty looking than that cake. And from the top of your lungs you try yelling into the dough, hoping somebody would hear you and not even considering the possibility that they would not believe you. And when those people hear you, they hear some muffled mambo jumbo about healthy food and tasty veggies and all that strange stuff that would just taste horrible inside the cake. So they turn away and keep chewing, entertained enough by the variety of dried up sweets and willing enough to get through the bland crumbs.

Now, I doubt that we get our hands on the baker, but we might as well just celebrate with each one, who pops out of the cake to take part in the real feast. Sure, we'll have to do the dishes, too, and might even have to do some cooking of our own, but- wow- what a treat we're having altogether.

Bon Appetite.


I'm just having some fun with the tree of life, using sculptris, photoshop and canvarion. I realize that it's not the most inspired work and I've been quite sloppy about it, as it is a bit off of the beaten path, but it's still kinda pretty, I thought. No idea, if it was just my ignorance forming it that way, or if through it something else just spoke, but there it is...

One of my favorite things out of the Zohar thus far is the suggestion that any carefully derived interpretation of the Torah will ascent immediately to Kether, to God, and will be filed as another aspect of the Truth. Of all the things one might want to say about seemingly dogmatic religion, the Hebrew kept a stunningly open path and humility in regards to their scripture. Only sincere care to understand the meanings contained within ancient texts can reveal the true power of theirs and has them contribute to a greater understanding, which also greatly manifests in respect. And if there's anything provocative I could say about the Torah, it would be my claim for it to be anti-dogmatic.

Daily Sketch No.21

Today I've made a little sculpture for you, using Sculptris. It's been a while since I've done a 3d sketch last, but I was in the mood for it, so there you have it. Naturally, Some of you may rightfully think that I've done this one for myself, but I would've stopped at the torso, as I was just curious about the shoulder area of a cat, but then I though, hmmmm.... so far I've made only 2d doodles since I'm here, why not finish up a 3d doodle for a change.

Today's topic was a back and forth in my head between Resonance and Kaballah, but I couldn't decide what to think about and eventually ceased thinking much at all. But just to make note of the start of today...

On Resonance...

Re-Sonance is in some regards the reflection or repetition of a sound (sona) or vibration. The nature of the resonating body picks up certain frequencies, when stimulated, and continues them as well as it then is self-stimulated and continues swinging, usually with some decay so that it does not swing infinitely, which would represent a so called self-resonance and ordinarily drives upward toward and explosion, rather than staying steady or decaying. This term could find good use in an analogy to perception of ideas. Some ideas resonate with us, because to some degree we had them already or at least parts of them, so those will resonate with us, continue swinging. Around the exact frequency, then, swings a portion of the alteration or addition to it and we receive an expansion of our prior ideas, if we allow them to come along. This depends on the amount of filtration we find in our character. It does not matter whether you're spiritually inclined, fanatic or blind to it altogether, the strength of this filter is independent from your interest, but describes your attitude. And once the filter is too tight, barely any other idea has a chance to come through, regardless how much the resonance might've been stimulated.

On Kaballah...

The Sepher Yetzirah mentions as part of the process of creation that God or the Divine Origin had the Hebrew AlephBet (alphabet) as basic building blocks for the universe. In fact, that's what the whole thing is about. And as part of the procedure, God was combining each letter with each letter, and arrives at a rather arbitrary appearing number of combinations, but that's not the point. It reminded me of the process of using knowledge or dealing with understanding for that matter. I felt that this hints at the necessity to never crystallize or freeze understanding into knowledge, but instead with every new entry of understanding or knowledge to combine and reevaluate former understandings in order to revive them and turn them into active components of our thinking. If we were to do this consistently, we would refine and enrich our wisdom efficiently at all times. ...was just a thought.

Daily Sketch No.20


QUANTIZATION

Everything we say and everything we consider to communicate is quantized. And unless we manage to consciously perceive the analogue nature of existence, we even perceive and imagine it as quantized. At this point we are locked into our set of averages into which we translate our experiences and with which we define ourselves, everyone and everything else. And it is by this phenomenon that we stumble upon misunderstandings, coarsely different opinions, frustration and possibly even depression. I believe that this is how our mind manifests itself, or how its interpretive process corrupts the subtleties of our souls true contribution of consciousness.

Think of it in terms of associated volumes or sizes, like an elephant and a room. We are taught to associate a heavy and big animal, up to a hundred times our own weight, gray skin, big ears and a trunk with the word "Elephant". We associate the word "Room" with a space that fits maybe around 10 people comfortably. The moment we put an elephant into the room in our mind, the room slightly increases in size to even imagine the situation and the provoked analogy becomes quite clear; it's impossible for anyone in the room not to notice the elephant. If we were taught that an elephant is a tiny creature about the size of a flee... well, no need to go on. The word room, however, is a contextual quantization, because it may mean the architectural feature of a room or it could be the generic description of open space, relative to its enclosure; i.e. there's still "room" in the drawer.

Thus, although there are many ways in which we can alter the quantization of a subject in order to communicate our thoughts, they remain as such; a more or less defined quantum in hopes to act as useful medium to bring across our ideas. And unless we transform such a delivered information back into an analogous form, which still holds the desired understanding that was meant to be transferred, we may continue to keep quantizing the quantized until only big gray blocks of gibberish remain and nothing makes any real sense anymore, or the basis of its meaning is completely lost.

I know, I know, this is a bit dry of a topic and not necessarily easy to understand, because its reaches are tremendous and my delivery is not. However, I think if we start to recognize this problem, it might help to solve misunderstandings amongst ourselves as well as improving our internal process of understanding.

The ultimate truth is not quantized in ways we are accustomed to understand, but may finds its definition within vibrational properties, peaks and valleys, interferences, loops, intersections, who knows, but it brings forth us in every single moment and composes boundaries by which we identify the elements of our reality and are enabled to communicate. It therefore is not a flaw, but a trait, and just like that we should always recognize each other as a trait and not as a flaw, even if the square minds of some won't fit into the mosaic of others.

That reminds me of one other thought I had this morning in regards to Art. What if the revelation about a problem long gone becomes a piece of art for those who have forgotten.

Daily Sketch No.19


Of flesh and spirit...

The corrupted connection between body and soul permits the mind to become a parasite of the flesh. Once the mind is of such character it blocks not just the soul, but the spirit, which joins the stream from the metaphysical realm into the body's physicality. Such mind then prevents the person associated with it from discovering its own societal function, which further pushes this merely instrumental part called intellect into a destructive state, which always becomes wholesomely destructive, whether obviously against others, or obviously against the self, it always results in the destruction of both, which thereby reveals all to be as One to begin with.

From a spiritual point of view life and its physical manifestations are rather viewed as a whole, of essential integrity, a complete picture, even if ever evolving. But once flesh is perceived by the physical eye, by the senses, almost no context makes it look appealing as long as it is not infused with spiritual qualities. Dead meat is unpleasant to us, even if most chose to eat it while it's fresh and ready to be cooked. I think this is quite fascinating, considering that what most people cling to they ultimately find disgusting, when viewed in part, but no matter how hard you'd try to dissect the spirit, not only does any part ever really feel disconnected to the whole, but each part has a certain kind of beauty, whether we'd try to visualize it or if we just marveled intellectually at its properties.

Those are just random thoughts, inspired by my little doodle up there, which- as per usual- just sort of manifested itself after I saw a human heart being dissected.

Daily Sketch No.18

The Great Cocoon

Something starts and ends and in between it is and was and will be after it became and before it was no more; the cocoon within which we know Now and outside which Now knows us. And in billion ways we may appear and billion ways appear within us. It makes us known and we make it known, but neither do we know its ways nor which way we appear again, not before and not after and barely in between.

The silk of which our time is woven, carefully it makes a skin so thick that all we sense with all the senses, fashioned by its wondrous milk see, feel, taste and touch the boundary of which we hear as we share amongst each other through the membranes of our fruit of life the tumbling turns through strings of meaning far beyond our faintest grasp. Yet, caught between our legs and thighs the well of silk keeps weaving life to thrive and conquer a becoming, larger, fuller, fine and stunning, cunning, wiser, filled with ever brighter fire, seeing more and breaking open gates to Nows we'll only know after our repeated blooming right until the day we'll never die again.

And from inside the ball of string a being joins a being still, releasing all it's hungry toil into a new and silky ball that forms again a realm of joy and pain and wish and wonder, strive and thrive and lust and ponder, dance and run and limp and linger, cry and laugh and scream and whisper whispers of the Great Cocoon, the universe, the harvest, school, the friend and lover, dinner dates, the latest news and newest trends and what's inside the tasty drink, how was your day, are you ok, technology, a circus and a healthy pet, yoga, jobs, transportation, foot massage, furniture, vacation, hair color, religion, sports, architecture, revelations, advice, recipes, shows, gadgets, language, knots, aches, arts, families,........ ..... ... .. . . .

Daily Sketch No.17

How do we decide between chaos and order. If we rise high above it all, where can we find peace, orientation and belonging. Maybe, when we get to see it all, we cannot even recognize where we belong anymore? Maybe we have to consider, that all we are meant to deal with is directly in front of us at eye-level. Maybe we have to accept the boundaries of our imagination as our realm of operation. For some this may seem boundless, for others it may be very clearly defined. Neither of them are to regarded as different qualities, or hierarchical privilege, but simply as realms of duty. And regardless of how massive the field of comfort and vision may appear or how narrow it presents itself, we may see it all, yet we operate on the speck that we occupy at any given moment. And it behooves us to focus on this spec, drawing from all that we can sense, but paying attention and the greatest respect to the spec of Now that we have to deal with. The pressure on this spec sometimes can threaten to explode us into the rest of our awareness and we tumble through it, losing sight of the piece of ground we stand upon. Maybe we get even sucked into even higher planes where we then see this bewildering truth, the grand scheme that goes so far beyond what we can conceive as order or any hope of aiding a process within all this that could ever make it into some sensible structure. This is when we should find peace in what we are and what is given to us and deal with it with the appropriate amount of gratitude, finding an understanding that leads us to the kind of joy we receive for having dealt properly with our conscious contribution to the level of the whole that we can still sort out. And with appropriate amount of faith in its purpose for something beyond our comprehension.

Daily Sketch No.16


A simple image to meditate over...

Daily Sketch No.15


...perfect as it is...

It's quite easy, isn't it? "Life- right now- is perfect as it is." What a statement. And it is right, it really is perfect as it is right now. But that does not mean we freeze this moment or become content with what ever led up to now. It means that we recognize that there was obviously nothing else we could've done until now for it to become now, but it also means that the very next second everything will be different. And it depends on us whether we recognize that it requires our actions to be better and it will be our actions when it gets worse. Our wisdom helps us to interpret reality until and including now and offers a decision on how we respond to shape the creation of the next moment.

Fatalism, which is part of my very own perspective, suggests that Now is a thing of an unalterable past, the definition of ourselves up until we care to perceive it again and how ever flawed, weak, brilliant or strong we may be, it used to be our best. But does it give us reason to rest, reason to ignore that we design the change of our definition with every waking moment?

It requires time and practice to really find a feeling, an understanding on how we optimize ourselves more and more. I don't think we are supposed to fight against who we are, but pick out our potential from the rubble of Now and carry it to the next level piece by piece.

After all, only because we can recognize ourselves, become self-aware and are enabled to compare us to others "like" us, we are not the wreck we may perceive in the mirror, but a marvelous creation with the very purpose to become the best we can be. And what we can be is not defined in others, not even in the mirror. It is in the Self that we can't perceive with our five senses, because they are not for us. Those senses are for the curious manifestations around us, the material world, which is the framework upon which we link to each other in this magnificent universe. But our true Self merely receives the interpretation of reality and is not the interpreter. Our true Self is offered to interact with reality as a force from within that is meant to contribute. To imitate is the process of learning found within a child. When we mature we are meant to understand those imitations and draw from them what we need to become the source of imitation, not to perpetuate the passivity of it.

This way we can recognize truly that the very next moment will be perfect as it is with what we decide to do for it. Then all others can receive this very same understanding, too.

Mystery of the Three Mothers - sketch

After having made the little Sanskrit numbers clip I thought about doing one for Hebrew. A brief exploration into Kaballah motivated me immediately to meditate over the so-called "Three Mothers"; Aleph, Mem and Shin. There letters are said to be the basic forces that form the fundamental building-blocks of our finite universe.

Aleph - Air - Breath of Hashem (God)

Mem - Water - Water from Breath - Cyclic principle of transformation (action into matter/energy and back)

Shin - Fire - Fire from Water - receive action within Water, transform into foundational substance and release back into the cycle of Water.




I hope it's accurate enough or informative without making some false assumptions. But, please, by all means, let me know, if you find something objectionable or plain wrong in it. I literally know next to nothing and just try to sense my way into it. But it felt already profound enough for me to approach it.

Firm Grasp...

A Firm Grasp on Reality?

I really can't know how it is for you out there, but it's damn hard for me sometimes to find a way of marrying spirituality with society when I empathize with people, who are so deeply entangled with what they accept as reality. When I do that, I feel the numbness, the cold water outside of the heated normality, the loss of navigation, if the anchor was lifted and the societal system was truly recognized for what it is. When we would dare to surrender our dreadfully heavy self-importance. Because, really, who out there- or rather in there- sees the greater good as something that comes after them, that would not include them right away? When most people think about "The Greater Good" they see themselves as reaping the benefits of it directly, not like they'd be ready to martyr even only their distorted lifestyles for it. Fear and false sense of comfort binds them to the misguided servitude they've accepted as requirement to be permitted an existence on earth. And even I am afraid to do a leap out of it any farther than I have already leaped, as much as it is for selfish reasons it is also for the fear that it would be futile at this point, rather like a surrendering or otherwise self-destructive. Do I honestly believe that my work, my inclinations, my ideas for the future and attempt to prepare for some impacting contribution to the mind-soul connection of humans globally has any chance or even justification to permit me such hubris as me continuing to maintain an involved lifestyle and making claims that it was necessary for the greater good? Hahahaha. Ok, well, I never said I was any better, but I can promise you, I'm trying to make sense of it all and sincerely work on finding a useful, even powerful understanding which may help at least add to the global effort of waking up, snapping out of the bizarre madness we're perpetuating.

All the scriptures say it, all the wisdom confirms it, all the spirituality screams and whispers it, that we are servants, not just directly for the Origin that gave us existence and purpose, but also servants to each other so that we do function together. In every way we are also servants to ourselves, but that means there is no king, neither outside, nor within. So when you declare yourself king or queen of your life, you're already on the blind path into misguided servitude, because it is reality that you cannot be that, but in order to simulate this state, you'd be ready to sacrifice all reason to buy yourself this impression, if only for a few moments a day, or per week, or some however frequent time a year. You become a slave to your own virtual royalty. Snap out of it and be a grateful, righteous servant, who's countless rewards are presented through your soul and will control and heal your entire body, which includes the mind, again and again, regardless as to what life throws at you. To be a servant is not a class issue amongst humans. It's a class issue within the universe and one that is looked at as the most important class during the process of becoming.

But all this is lofty talk, isn't it. We need practical examples, right? Something that shows what this could mean to us right now in our current situation and what would that mean to our children? Who are we dealing with, when we fail to submit to the current paradigm? Where and what is that Firm Grasp that could pull the wisdom into our now beyond some virtual comfort of imagining pretty things, whilst sitting on our couches or yoga mattes, or 3 feet high bed or shaggy carpet or beanbag or office chair or some ikea thing of sorts. Who's gonna go barefoot out to the grass, shivering for a few hours to watch the stars and feel at home where you'd be at right then. Who can marry all this great wisdom with his own spirit and turn it into the means of the own life. Ah, it's tiring. I'm sorry, forgive me.

I'm writing all of this, because I think you are the kind of people, the kind of souls, who care about these things with me. I somehow expect that you'd also have frequently moments in which it frustrates you to find the severity of your understanding about something beyond human normality lost and inaccessible to the mindset that tries to deal with everyday troubles, money, jobs, food, health system, insurance scams, well, all those scams and how people are wedged into this shit (sorry), not even ready to assume that there was no REAL reason to ever put up with all that. They laugh in your face, think that you're a bit loony, really. "Yeeees, yeees, god, right? Spirituaaaality, uhuuuuh. Well, if it can squish out a paddy between my buns and hand me a beer, too, then I might just allow it into the garden, but it outta stay outside, though." or "That doesn't give you a degree you could use out there, does it? Or do you want to become a priest or monk of sorts?".

No matter how we think about it, to most people spirituality appears to be a sort of hobby. Something to calm your nerves without having to waste money on pills or to counter character flaws, haha, or something of that kind. It's not much more than another manifestation of the indoctrinated self-importance with maybe a twist. Or that's how it is being perceived by those, who are not been given a handle, a viable access to this level outside their perfectly predefined life. In that state, they are lacking a Firm Grasp, but at the end it us, who'll have to find it; The Bridge that makes sense of it all to the real little fragment of it people believe to perceive as "Now".

So, now I'm done venting, ranting and weeping (I guess). But I'm not, because I didn't even get to discuss what I was gonna talk about, hahaha. Darned.

IS IT REAL?

Wow, that's a bold question, isn't it? Can we have a serious discussion about what's real and what's not? Scientifically encounter the borders of academical understanding of reality and academical speculation on purpose or origin for life and mankind in it. "Normal" people save themselves into believing that they've been told all the reliable answers they'd need to know to carry on. How are we going to teach them otherwise? Do we really "Know" otherwise? Can we in some scientific or logical way explore and present the full scope of reality that should somewhat shatter their comfort? Oh, believe me, I absolutely want to and am right now dedicating myself to exactly that. And I dearly hope we can do this all together. This will not be about some fancy phrases and pretty words, poetry and dreamy doodle of the happy place. No skips, no leaps, a connected line from the limited standard view of life to the reason beyond its borders. And I'm afraid it will take many years. Maybe we just get it started again, or maybe it is just me, who's joining in to this ongoing process I'm unaware of, but "Here I Am". :o)

Monday, March 19, 2012

Daily Sketch No.13


A Moment of Clarity

Ever been in a dense crowd of people, trying to pass through against the stream? You'd feel elbow, hands, bags strafing across your back and by your side. You try to avoid the feet, look down and up and down again. You can barely make out where one person stops and another begins and feel there breath as you know they can feel yours, and all you want is to get through to the other side. Can you remember it, feel it?

As I begin to understand the soul, I feel like my mind is the crowd and madness tries to pass through to the other side.

I remember my moments of clarity, lifting me out of my sleep in the morning, holding me for what feels like a split second that lasts for 3, 4 or 5 of them. And I see this, what you can see up there. It happened a few times. I would see the human body almost like a living diagram, like an explanatory illustration, trying to show me what we are, what is me, that it is composed as such. A machine, not cold, but practical and well conceived. But a machine. And I always thought; fine, yes, I know, I guess, that's significant, I'm sure, but...I feel it, I feel this disconnect, but what does it mean? What does it mean?

Then I had a longing for it. I wanted this very vision again, but part number two, the sequel, please, because there must be more, I know there is. If I could only hold this powerful, cleansing clarity just long enough to attain some lasting understanding from it. When it happens, all I feel is that I know, but I don't know what is that I know.

Ever since I felt that I was life, that upon it's outta shell I grew but like a fruit on it, the mushroom with two eyes, witnessing the glory of its splendor and working on behalf of its creator amongst billions of us manifestations. And I, life, will not cease until the day our task is done. Not that of this fruit that these two eyes would see in the mirror, but many cycles from now and I felt at peace. Great peace. But I was life, as far as I knew. And from this day on, more than ever before, I struggled deeply with this dreadful word that kept haunting me, like a numb spot that itches far beneath the skin and no matter how much you want to find out where it is so that you can scratch it, but you can't, you just can't find it. And thus was the word, the "soul", which was taunting me, closing my eyes towards it, like I am meant to, but just cannot understand it.

And then, only a few days ago, I can't even tell, it feels like yesterday, it finally snapped. A door cracked open just enough. And as I reached for it, it virtually exploded. I am not life. I am from and to all of the universe, I am created, not formed and will end when time will end, beyond the existence of life itself. I am a soul. Life is our metropolis and its fruit, the body, it is our instrument, our machine, our priceless and powerful vessel. And we, the driver, we carry out the mission that can only be solved within the riddle solving masterpiece that is the realm of matter. Our very purpose is to act on behalf of God, the mighty Infinite, that which is beyond us and who's wisdom glows as our substance, who will reclaim us and all when the riddle is solved and the immense streams of consciousness swing in harmony to continue the Divine Being only to forge yet another finite universe. And another. And another. And bestowed on us is the power to navigate in a world as complex as our collective consciousness and more. Each of us gains wisdom as a soul, while all knowledge, all memories vibrate through the motions of the Divine seed as it makes its rounds to manifest what we call reality. Time and space are but the byproduct of the dimensions the seed creates and not a thought is lost within it. Like phantoms we streak through it and fill bodies from within the womb until the day of departure.

It is not me, this body, but it is my responsibility. And all that I learn, through all that I do and all that I think, it feeds the wisdom of me, the soul, the driver. And this wisdom will determine which vessel will most fittingly continue its growth, be it but a fish or a prince, or just an artist as I find myself to be now.

My clarity, it showed to me my machine. My precious instrument. A gift, powerful but fragile, able but wanting, living and dying. And we are at its mercy, too. It feeds us more than we feed it. I feel like we are really this fragile stream of near immortality, blind towards the truth for all the right reasons, because as long as we don't understand, we may misunderstand and find us trapped in an endless loop of stagnation as we surrender to the seemingly endless toil and suffering of being alive. Yet, that which corrupts us through the tempted flesh is the biggest gift of them all, that we not only know of love, but feel it. That we don't just reason all by itself, but sense it, experience the joy of understanding, the warmth and jumpy joy within us when we finally realize something, when we experience life, when we experience our own skills and when we meet our brothers, sisters, friends and lovers, parents, neighbors, community and everything we touch upon a wish. And then.... then there is faith.

Now faith, I always thought, is the thought that something has our back, when things don't seem to make sense or that, if we do right or at least try, the Most High will appreciate it and we've done well. That those, who act based on that very same faith, knowingly or not, will link with us, naturally, when such moment comes. I felt, that for most people faith is for them, like a personal measure to find some peace and trust on their own behalf. But now I think something slightly different. I believe, Faith is for God, not for us. I have faith that what God wants us to accomplish, even though we don't know at all what this really is, it will work out, if we do what we learn within ourselves, or actually within our bodies, about what we can do. Our Spirit. The mind itself is not us, but a part of our body, a part of the instrument. And all these parts carry within the Spirit, the lot we pulled in order to perform our worldly duties. Great many of them are around and a good collection is part of everyone's tasks. The majority of them, nearly all of them, are only there for the material world to function. And the feedback of our actions teaches us, the soul.

It is not "our" soul. We are the soul, but it is our body and it belongs to life.

And madness giggles, chuckles, grins as it strafes through the windings of my mind, tickles with its spiky little fingers, 22 of them and one for good measure. Can I stay within my skin and apologize to life for all that I am doing to this finely tuned marvel of an instrument, so decent, so nimble, so complicated and I am permitted to control so much of it.

Or AM I? ...that's the pinky's pinky of madness flicking me, provoking me.

How much do I really control of my body. I'm asking it to do something, but as "finely tuned" as it seems, and it is quite amazing, it still can't just do it. First I try to make my mind comprehend and translate all that I want it to do or write or say. Then my mind has to dig through its memories or access to memories and process those. Then all the rest kicks into gear, hoping that the right word comes out of my mouth or my finger hits the right key. Hoping that I won't hit the door frame as I run to the toilette, because 5 coffees late I have lost all my motor skills from holding it in. SO... where's the sense of humor then? I think it is in fact the soul that laughs. The mind receives a curious information and tries to translate it for the soul, but it's all a jumbled mess. Until it finally kicks in and gets it and the sudden joy of body and soul turn out laughter. So, yeah, I think a real laughter comes actually straight from the soul. Maybe all sounds we can make with our body that are not words are much rather a direct communication from our soul. Hmmm.... MADNESS. madness.

But Clarity told me so, tried for so long. And now, who am I to deny this revelation. Welcome to earth, your liver's fine and you got lucky this time, you've got decent eyesight.

Love to you all.

Body of Timur on behalf of Taron, the soul.

Daily Sketch No.11


What is this thing?

The castle of chaos, the birth of desire at a stage high above simplicity. The realm of marks, claiming superiority, piercing the skin it promises, slicing its own growth to multiply, to test itself, to mature the deformity of rage and look at what seizes its space. Where is this fallen phantom begging from? What was the end of what it was and when was wanting sharper than possession? Maybe when clarity collapses, darkness that is in its bones condenses into such absurdity. And through its thorny branches, limbs, extremities, it hurls around without direction, toiling without goals beyond itself, trapped in finite agony, since lingering within is known the nature that, rebelled against, prevails in swelling harmony to leave but shadows of the horror that is the moment squashed before a leap, the pressured blood that fills the paddles up to pop into the flower of reception. Yet, at times, the shell encrusts, it stiffens, hardens, calcifies, it crackles not from breaking, but from violent betrayal felt as price for the deception that the ease of constant flow would not require such a stage, such a period of anguish that uncovers only structures of everything as nothing that finds touch or transpiration, no dissolving of the spires that like bars beyond all comprehension weaves itself as but a cage of layers upon layers with not a letter to be spotted, not a fire, black nor white, not a shimmer of perfection only specs of scattered light until...

...our eyes resume to open and our lashes part away. The morning sun reveals, yet, just another day. A new one, fresh, virgin with its thin veil of innocence and pregnant with discoveries, recoveries, relief and stimulation. A strong and powerful day with strong and powerful light not just from the heavens, but from the inside. Because it needed to be strong, the light, the nature that was pushing, pressing, breathing to break free form the cocoon of a nightly fight to process all the things from yesterday. And yesterday was big right before it got deflated to give room and air and fire to the growing light of Now.

Daily Sketch No.10


Fractal Nature of Existence, the Torah and Humanity

Just because it's difficult for us to recognize it doesn't mean it is not true. This sentence went through my head over and over again as I was painting away on the above scribble. Not only because I kept losing sight of what I was doing there, but because it's a common problem for our readiness to surrender a thought we have difficulties to follow along with as it becomes more and more complex.

My suggestion is to follow for as long as it is possible and then apply what we've learned back towards more simpler sections of it and the things that seem to belong to that easier form. Not only can we rest more easily there, but we can recognize more of its nature based on what we've experienced beyond that point.

This is how I am reading scripture and it turns single sections into vastly more complex revelations, shows a certain fractal depth of its meaning. Once another layer becomes clear or even just clearer, I can follow along this very layer into parts that previously appeared rather obscure and a veil is lifted or at least becomes more and more see-through, so to say.

Esau and Jacob, Edom and Israel. They are another great moment to begin recognizing the fractal nature of not just the Torah, but existence in form of mankind or at the level of it.

If you look at the Torah as a description of the Self, the growth as a single being and the periods one has to go through along with its specific traits or defining moments, you can recognize that Esau and Jacob represent character traits we all have in common. Depending on our choices we may favor one over the other, but ultimately only one can truly rule at a time.

Esau, Edom stands for materialism, selfishness, greed, envy, ignorance with a yearn for permission, since the universal understanding always deposits its information inside of us, whether we accept it or not and we know that selfishness and all the above traits are not righteous or beneficial to the whole and we abandon our intended purpose, possibly even corrupting the process and thereby voiding our function as being. However, it still is tethered to our means to survive and the Self, even if overemphasized in that form, remains holy and our duty to respect and nourish.

Jacob, Israel stands for awareness, altruism, conscious need, generosity and connection to our divine origin and divine goals with a yearn to be forgiven for ones mistakes in the process of learning and the challenges that come with all the decisions that are to be made, even if their righteous nature may require a judgement of our own. This is where Jacob and Esau meet and revisit their positions toward each other.

To fight and kill each other would destroy the vital Self that is shared between the two, the holiness of it. Edom remains an impulse to everyone of us, but Israel needs to prevail so that we may continue toward a destiny we all share and that was given to us by divine origin, that was determined at our conception and handed to us at our birth. It is the Spirit within, our major ability, trait, desire to perform as part of the whole. It defines our activity beyond procreation, even if that sounds a little funny. If everyone of us was ready to recognize the personal Spirit within and acknowledge gratefully the Spirit within others, we would create and maintain a most powerful society.

And this is where the fractality of it all becomes interesting and probable. If you look at the way in which fractals leap from one layer of complexity to the combined higher layer, composed of a multitude of those prior complexities, one may argue that the land of Israel is the fractal equivalent to ones own destiny, elevated to an entire people. But all the traits that one has to uphold for oneself would equally apply to such a nation. As we have to invite and deal with others kindly and wisely and demonstrate our understanding for the need to thrive in all of us towards a common goal, so does the Jewish nation have to observe the same and invite the inhabitants of this land as alien bothers, and deal with them as they'd deal amongst themselves. Favoring the self is a trait of Edom, not of Israel. Righteousness is not a birthright, but a lifelong commitment and it is to be upheld at all times towards everybody. If there is a transgression recognized, it requires support and not condemnation until all other means fail and even then it is yet about finding a solution that still honors the existence of the other and helps it into an integration that is not detrimental to the whole or even beneficial in some other way. The Jewish nation is not automatically righteous, as I've said already, and it need only to open the Torah to find out again that a failure to recognize the significance of its mission will lead to exile again and again.

Israel is, as far as I believe now, a symbol to all of mankind for everyone's own righteous destiny and the need to groom it with a constant awareness of our divine mission as both the Self and the Whole of us. Further more I tend to believe that our fulfillment of this symbol will enter and turn the key to a gate into a divine time for all of mankind. We will recognize that all our labor, all our toil will heighten our encounter with all the love and happiness on the other cup of the scale. We will use our ingenuity to sanctify our Spirit and heighten our powers, nourishing the genuine traits of ours to rise to the greatest heights of our human potential and provide a world and a wisdom to our coming generations that will idealize the process of our fulfilling of the divine purpose. We cannot know the wonders that await us, but we can imagine the joy it would be for us to truly do what we were given to want on the deepest level and not corrupted by shallow whims. Together we may build the next temple to the Infinite and recognize what this actually means to us.

Everyday we linger in the shadow of human might, we disrespect and neglect the divine powers that are offered to us in the light. And as this applies to each single one of us, so does it apply to the lot of us in the fractal nature of existence.